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Mother's letter
Dear Céline,
How to write this letter without writing 13 more? Of course, I do
understand why I was asked to publically write to you, my famous
daughter, but nothing could change my 'sentiments': my ( mother's
) heart has fourteen compartments! Also, what I am writing to
you, I adress it to everone of my children....
I remember, realizing, when you were a small girl, that you loved
singing and I admit I felt a little discouraged about that... ''Not
another one!'' I said to myself. I had 13 children before you, 9 of
which were carressing an identical dream to yours. 9 who also
failed with this dream, 9 that I couldn't have helped, because life
had imposed too many restraints, these, essential to our survival.
It became an habit, if i can say, to silence this dream on all of my
children. One day, I started to question myself... You had this
talent, my little bird, we could not ignore it. But mainly, you were
my 'baby', our baby and also my last one.... I wanted to
accomplish something with you.
This is when I started to knock on showbusiness's doors. I was ill
equipped to find myself in these surrroundings. I was a mother.
You know the story, Céline.... People were saying to me ''You
know, Mrs. Dion... '' Yes, I knew... I knew I loved you and that I
would forced doors for you....
It was not an earning job to write songs for a child. I understood
that right away. Also, I wasn't making it for the money, but.... for
love! Have I told you, Céline, that the flow of songs I had in my
head was waking me up during the night? I was going to work
aroung 5:00 , 5:30 in the morning, put on the stoves before the
arrival of the customers, and I was writing songs for you. For your
dream, which became also mine. I even obliged your brother
Jacques to put music to my words. ''But I never wrote music,
Mom!'' It was better for him to start doing it!
The rest is history... Now, I am shivering everytime I see 45,000
persons applauding you. Shivers of pride. Shivers of emotions.
Mother's shivers. But it took quite some time for myself to get
there. I was afraid of the success I had so wished for you. At the
beginning, I thought your notoriety would take you away form me.
You were surrounded by more and more professionals, who
accomplished duties that I always accomplished by myself, until
then. Who was more well placed than a mother of 14 to know how
to take care of a single one? I felt jealous of all those people
surrounding you... and I thought at the same time that It was stupid
to feel this way. I had to go through great lenghts before I would
understand that my place around my 14th child was 'untouchable'.
The day you announced to me you were in love with your
manager, I had to climb up another mountain... René was
grabbing my baby, my love, away form me, and I was mad at him
for that. Like a mother. Forgive me, Céline, if it hurted you. I had
my own dreams regarding your prince charming...
We are, sometimes afraid of being of no more use for our
children.... But you knew how to prove to me, that even for a
'planetary' star, nothing replaces a mother.. Remember Los
Angeles, your sorrow and distress when you phoned me. René
just felt a little episode ( heart malaise ). You were then leaving for
France to tour. He couldn't go with you. 'I would like to be near
you, my daughter,'' You answered me ''that's all I wanted to hear,
mother. I need you.'' The day after, we met in New-York, then we
headed for Europe. All of France were waiting for you, but in my
head, we were all alone in the world.
You are going through another rough time. It happens, on
occasion, to everyone of my children. Last week, you reassured
me, on the phone: everything was going well. You told me that
René was taking the vitamines I had sent him. They are going to
do him good. We exchanged fresh news, and after that, I could
breathe! I felt a lot better ( up ) , and I went to sow. I sowed a
whole little outfit, that same night!
We all know that you wish to be a mother yourself. You and I, are
we going to be alike, as mothers? Maybe, on certain points. For
example, I know that like me, hard times are giving you strength
and energy. Having said that, you are going to be a mother of
another era. You won't be sawing after your children would have
reassured you! You will have an intense relationship with them,
but your way of living will be different.
I wish you the children that you desire, but if they do not come, it
wouldn't be the end of the world. So many children are deprived
of parents....
While waiting, you have many things to accomplish. Your life is
not over, my child, it is only beginning! While René was on the
operation table, I looked at you, my daughter, to realize how alike
we are.
I was only 12 or 14 when my father showed me how to prepare the
horse for labour. The horse was a hundred times bigger than I,
and I was scared. ''You must learn how to approach it'', father was
saying ''Only then will you control your fear''.
When I saw you take all of René's friends and relatives and shook
them, reminding them it was not the time to cry, your courage
appeared to me in all it's greatness. And I admired you. '' It is
your father, it is your friend but it is also my husband who is
fighting'' did you day. What you said, my baby, gave strenght to us
all. Though, God knows how scared you must have been
yourself... '' We must be strong'', you kept repeating people
around you. You knew how to find the encouraging words for
everyone. It warmed my heart to see you this way. It is like that,
Céline, that we must approach life.
These days, I devote all my time and energy for the 'Bal de la fète
des mères'' ( Mother's day Ball ) which is organised to profit the
Achille Tanguay foundation ( Mrs dion's father ). I could be with
you in Forida, but I decided to put my efforts towards this fund
raiser which goal is to help mothers in need, and honored their
courage. It is an act of love, and everytime I do so around me, it is
to all my children, grand children, grand grand children I am doing
for equally. It is now my way of being your mother. It is now my
way of loving you all.
Maman
This is the e-mail address of the person who translated and found
this beautiful letter: lycka@videotron.ca
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